E is for Ego

Why do people blog? Why do I blog?

The reasons people blog are varied; some people have businesses or products to promote, books to sell, ideas to push, perhaps they feel compelled to express themselves because of their status, or they are part of a social community or group and blog to exchange ideas or promote freedom, and then maybe they just like to write.

For me, the later is the reason: I like to write. My lack of spare time makes short blog posts ideal for my current situation. A blog is my diary, my journal of ideas, my outlet for putting thoughts onto paper (really a computer). The keyboard is my pen and the screen is my paper. The blog is the bookstore for my work.

I don’t need an editor, publisher, or an agent to get my inner voice heard. But I would like to have any one or all of the above people. I have a number of short stories on my computer, several larger pieces of incomplete projects and a novel in the final editing stages ready for my “people.” I even have a started a mystery novel involving my “writing group people.”

But alas, with a sigh and note of sadness, work and life interferes with my writing. I need to eat, keep clothes on my back, a roof over my head and maintain a satisfying life with my wife and children. So I work.

I guess my ego is not big enough to wake me at 5 am or cause me stay up past midnight working on my fiction. It is hard enough to carve out time and energy to write 500 coherent words twice a week for my blog, much less to create time to work on bigger projects. For now this blog is a relief valve, I blow off a little steam at a time.

I am patient. My plan is to be the Grandma Moses of fiction. Of course you know she started her creative efforts earlier in life, but at a lower level and in a different media. She dabbled with house paints and embroidery early in her life, and then graduated to painting primitive images taken from her humble rural origins.

I have a retirement plan which includes carving out time to write daily and hopefully profusely, along with other social and creative activities. For now my ego must be satisfied with modest blog posts. More important than the actual number of days I spend writing or the quantity of work I produce is that I seek attainment of a higher level of quality and meaning.

For that to happen in the future I must continue to blog a little at time, attend my writing group meetings as often as I can and slowly improve and solidify my fiction ideas and skills. Read more fiction and non-fiction. Perhaps I might even return to school for a class or two. Incorporate my other creative activities (photography and woodworking) into my writing or use it as inspiration.

My ego must elevate itself, my ego should elicit new ideas, and my ego should experience growth. I must exceed my expectations. I must elevate my efforts.

But you never know how much time you have left so I'd better start working on my Retirement To-Do List now.

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F: Funk and Friendship

My blog has been in a funk since my return from vacation. Perhaps it was the hectic return to work, end of year doldrums or some combination of both. No matter the cause my blog suffered. Then near the very end of the year (December 26 to be exact) an old friend visited. His visit gave me a spark of inspiration for this blog and a goal to reach.

His visit was scheduled and greatly anticipated. I first met Don C in October 1964 at Fort Monmouth Signal School. We were assigned to the same class and barracks; we became inseparable for the remainder of our military service. We were nothing alike. But that didn’t matter, army life created many improbable friendships.

He was from a small town in Montana and I was from a large city in New Jersey. He enlisted in the army straight out of high school and I had some college and work experience before joining the army. He was a high achiever and I was talented but not motivated (hence my short college attendance). He was far from home and I lived relatively close. I went home on weekends and he remained on base. We started training together and for the next two years and nine months we remained together through various overseas and stateside assignments.



Warren, Joe B and Don C (L to R, 1965)



We were discharged from the military at a time of great descent in the country and went our separate ways. We almost instantly lost track of each other. Both of us pursued careers, got married and started families; our friendship went into hibernation. We both tried unsuccessfully to reconnect for many years; our efforts to find each other were hindered by the fact that we both moved away from our home towns and states. I tried several times to locate him through the Internet and had made several calls to other Don Cs without success.

Then my friend Google came to the rescue. Around 2006 I Googled his name and original home town and got a “hit.” Minutes later I made a call and got his wife on the phone. Her response to me when she heard my name was, “Don has been looking for you for years.” He had returned to his hometown a few years earlier just before his medical retirement and my efforts were rewarded with a “hit.”

Don is now retired and travels during the winter to get out of Montana. We email regularly, speak a few times during the year and he visits us in late December every year during his escape from the harsh Montana winters. Our friendship picked up instantly, now we both have partners and the fact that they enjoy each other’s company is a bonus to our friendship.

Warren and Don - (L to R Now)

The only sadness is that we missed forty years of experiences. What is important is that we searched and reconnected.

So I dedicate this blog to friendship. Make them, keep them and if you lose them reconnect, make amends because there will be a hole in your life.  Joe B expect my call soon.

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