I Want to Retire!

Book Review: I Want to Retire!  Essential Considerations for the Retiree to be

by Dave Bernard

In just fourteen short chapters Dave Bernard again is the cheerleader for the reader as he or she approaches retirement.  The chapter topics range from Redefining the Retired You, to Accepting Aging and What will be your Legacy.  A very impressive assortment of topics addressed in his usual snappy style: quotes and relevant thoughts.

I’ve followed Bernard’s blog, Retirement – Only theBeginning, for about a year and find this book condenses a long series of blogs about retirement into essential topics.  The ultimate goal of the book is to help the future retiree find his passion.  He reminds us that, “Retirement is your time to do what you want to be doing.”  Sounds easy on paper.  I trust that I’ll be able to live up to his admonition in the years to come.

What is retirement?  What is life about?  One of his blog followers writes and quotes Robert Frost, “In three words I can sum up everything about life – it goes on.”  So life goes on during retirement. 

Rather than expand and comment on the entire book I encourage future retirees and those now retired to buy and read “I Want to Retire!”  Instead of the classic review of a book I will make a few comments about Chapter 8: Staying Busy and Engaged in Retirement.

Staying engaged during retirement can be more challenging than it sounds.  Many retirees now face a loss of income and in these days of uncertain financial times this is a serious issue.  I myself face a less than ideal retirement.  Retirees now have more empty time they ever envisioned.  There is only so many honey-do projects, so many garden projects, walks in the park, golf or card games a person can participant in before he or she begins to wonder about Purpose or becomes so bored that they become a couch potato.

Decision about what time to wake can be irksome.  If there is no reason to get up then the day becomes merely a chore to get through.  Dave tells us to create a schedule of a mixture of activities blending purpose, health and relaxation (yes – you deserve some do nothing time). Finding the balance is the challenge.  Retirees can determine the pace of the day, the week and the rest of their life. 

The chapter ends with a list of possible things to do, activities with purpose and meaning.  My charge is for the reader to review the list and then start your own.

 

You are now your own boss; you don’t need someone else’s list.  Create your own.  I have a dream list that I review and think about from time to time.   I am on the board of directors of a senior services granting agency and the organization has been tasked to create a few programs of its own.  This summer I am starting a weekly walking group for baby boomers.  This project combines my regular walking habit and the desire to bring a healthy activity to my peers.

Next year I plan to take another passion of mine and transform it into a program, A Seniors Writing Group.  More intensive research into writing groups and senior needs is required before this concept launches.  My approach to it is to be open-minded and if it doesn’t work try a different approach or something different.  Being open-minded is another one of Dave’s suggestions about finding activities that elicit passion.

What is on your list?  Read Dave Bernard’s “I Want to Retire!” and use it as a guide to create passion and meaning in your retirement years.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book and no other financial considerations were received.

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“Are you just existing and calling it a life?” Book Review

Dave Bernard’s “Are you just existing and calling it a life?” ends with the following passage:

You will only live this day once. When you look back did you live it well? If you can say yes you should sleep well knowing that tomorrow is another day wherein you will again have chance to life it well. Enjoy the journey…”

 

Bernard’s latest book contains fourteen short chapters on how to live this day well and this life well. His book is an exhortation for the reader (or participant in life as I prefer to call the reader) to find his or her passion, which then will be the guide for the actions that fill your days and lives.

The search for passion is a lifetime adventure; subject to detours and modifications, as we know that “Man makes plans and God laughs.” But without direction, goals and hopes we will drift hopelessly and be miserable. If you are searching for a purpose in life then reach for this book, if you are happy with your state of mind then reach for the TV remote instead.

Bernard opens the book with a challenge for us to identify our passions, those things that will drive us for a lifetime. Just find them, easy to say, but hard to do. He writes that he has “some questions” for us to answer to help in this process. I laughed when I read the list on the next page and looked back at his reference to “some questions.” There are seventeen initially, and many more throughout his book. Thankfully, he doesn’t expect us to answer them all at one review; he gives the leisure of setting our own pace for the answers. The questions are short but the drive to the heart of the quest: what are you passionate about? No multiple-choice answers, Bernard wants your answers.

The subsequent chapters focus on various topics to use as a guide to find your passions. He utilizes pertinent quotes and brief thoughts as a starting point for the questions in each chapter. And the book is full of questions designed to flesh out your passion. Each chapter ends with “takeaways.” These takeaways are concrete statements and suggestions to actually find and implement the particular passion discussed in the chapter.

Some of the chapter topics could be changed to fit your style or interests. For example Bernard extols the benefits of fishing in some detail and with fervor in Chapter 12. You could substitute hiking, hunting, bird watching or camping just as effectively. Other chapter topics are more universal and ring true: work, family, good health and retirement.

Bernard’s presentation of his concept of passion search requires the reader to disregard the format of the book. Quotes intermixed with text, questions galore and chapter ending “takeaways” slow the reader down. Rereading and thinking are required, but this is not necessarily bad just different. In fact, reading slow and thoughtfully is an advantage when considering this short book deals with our entire working career and retirement activities.

I read the chapter on work three times and thought about my own career twists. Our goal is to find a career that we are passionate about is task that may take a lifetime. But Bernard encourages us to keep striving to find that career that gives us purpose. More importantly, he gives us suggestions that will help the reader with that search. He knows that it is unrealistic to expect a person entering the workforce to know what he or she wants to do for the next 20, 30 or more years.

I found myself wandering through several careers after I graduated college. Each career choice was a step in a journey. For me I found not a single field but a type of work that fulfilled me. In my case, it was not a single industry but the position that allowed me to interact with people and help them was most satisfying. I was a schoolteacher for several years, a manager of a wholesale plumbing company, a salesman, and an administrator of a religious institution. Each of these jobs was completely different on the surface but at the core I was doing the same thing. I helped people grow, solve problems and experience a meaningful life through my efforts.

Bernard’s “takeaways” in the chapter on work recognizes that people will change careers and gives the reader tools and suggestions for making the changes. Tools to allow the participant in life to move forward with each change and follow that passion into retirement.

This book requires thinking and assigns us the task of answering thoughtful questions about our life. He doesn’t ask you to score your answers, to rate yourself or compare your answers to others but rather to help each of us find our own path to passion. I encourage to read this book, scribble in the margins, read each chapter once, twice or more for meaning and it is not required to read the chapters in order. Leave this book in your night table, carry it in your backpack or brief case and refer to it whenever you doubt your current work circumstance.

“Are you just existing and calling it a life?” has given me the impetus to define my passions a little more accurately as I approach Chapter 13, Retirement. I have a to-do list for my retirement that I now realize needs reworking.

Now the work is up to you to find your passion.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of Dave Bernard’s book to review.  I mentioned this book in my September 11, 2012 blog.  "Are you just existing and calling it a life," is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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Retirement - Only the Beginning

I came across Dave Bernard’s blog, Retirement – Only the Beginning, and was drawn to his posts and offer of a free book. You say, “Free.” And my ears perk up. The subject matter of the book deals with the topic of retirement, which is the one of the thrusts of my blog. A free book was just a click away, and I clicked.

Dave emailed me a PDF copy of “Navigating the retirement jungle” along with a note about his other book, “Are you just existing and calling it a life?” A quick on-line search resulted in downloading a free copy of “Navigating the retirement jungle” in Nook format, and locating “Are you just existing and calling it a life?” for sale on Amazon.com (print and Kindle), and at Barnes and Noble for the Nook.

I finished the free book in one day. Sometimes you get what you pay for, but I was pleasantly surprised with the overall content of the free book. I got much more value from the book than I expected despite its brevity. It is mix of practical tips and links to useful websites for preparing for retirement and inspirational thoughts on retirement and life. It is not for the twenty or thirty year old worker, but for those who are a little older and can see retirement looming in the not so distant future. While I am of retirement age, and have missed some the lofty goals of a well financed retirement I found that “Navigating the Retirement Jungle” reinforced my beliefs about finding out what really matters. Finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning, pursuing life with passion, and staying mentally healthy is the Holy Grail that makes life in retirement meaningful.

I plan to go back and reread the assortment of memorable quotes intermixed with Bernard’s advice for retirement. I’ll probably use some of his ideas as inspiration in my blog and of course in my retirement. Included in the free book is the opening chapter of “Are you just existing and calling it a life?”

I found a quote a line to quote in the opening chapter that is reminiscent of advice from my father when I was a teenager, and it still resonates with meaning:

Bernard writes about passion, “If you don’t know where you are going how will you reach your destination?”

In my father’s version he would end by asking, “How will you know when you get there?”

My father gave his advice to a restless teenager and Bernard’s advice is for those of us who want an active, productive and meaningful retirement.

I am looking forward to reading “Are you just existing and calling it a life?” and plan to write a full review in a later blog.

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Book Review: Aging as a Spiritual Practice

"Aging as a Spiritual Practice" (ASP) takes a non-hype approach to aging. It is not a how-to-do book, nor is it a step-by-step linear list of things required for a long, healthy life. There are no secrets or methods revealed for a longevity hidden in the pages. ASP is a spiritual guide and in the author’s words a “guide to gracious living.”  Gracious does not mean the manners associated with genteel society; but means a kind, courteous, and merciful manner of living. Richmond states one of the keys to a long life is mental flexibility and that the three biggest killers as we age be controlled by diet: heart disease, cancer and diabetes. He mentions these without judgment, relying on the reader to act accordingly as Richmond's emphasis is the spiritual aspects of life.

Lewis Richmond is a practitioner of Buddhism, a well known teacher and lecturer. ASP had its roots in a previous book, "Work as a Spiritual Place", his blog and numerous workshops on aging. ASP is an easy, comprehensible read not encumbered with jargon and the language normally associated with professional tomes on Buddhism. I’ve read it twice and most likely I will read this book or at least portions of it again. I have ASP in my Nook Tablet and it will be one of the many books I travel with.

Richmond’s approach is hinted at near the end of the introduction when he comments on a statement by a workshop participant, “I’m fifty-eight and I know where I’m headed – downhill. It’s all downhill from here.” Richmond then answers, “Well, I’m not sure I agree, but even if you’re right, the real question is: Are you going to slide, or are you going to steer.” ASP goes on to present the Buddhist view of aging: life changes; but with the hope that it can be fulfilling and fruitful, not just a journey with no destination except in physical death.

ASP is a mix of commentary by the author, antidotes and contemplative reflections or exercises for the reader. These reflective opportunities give the reader a chance to interact as if he or she were attending a workshop. The reflective portions are not frivolous, but meaningful mechanisms for the reader to think about the issues Richmond poses.

Zen logic is applied to the description of life as a time-line. Horizontal Time flows from birth, to childhood, to adolescence, to maturity and beyond. The past is clear and gone; the future is unknown and uncertain. We live in neither. We live in what Richmond calls Vertical Time, the here and now. It is the life we live, experience and control. An analogy I can allude to is the sing along on a screen to help understand Horizontal and Vertical Time. The words flow from right to left, the notes and words we sing is the bouncing ball at the center. The note we express at this moment is the life we create and experience.

ASP reaffirms many of my beliefs but that is not why I believe it is a good book for everyone to read. It is missing the traditional connection to God and therefore easy for believers in the Christian/Judaic belief and practice system to disregard the book’s message.  Richmond recognizes this missing element; however, if the we interchange the words God, Buddha or a Devine Power we can appreciate that Richmond’s purpose is to have the reader realize it is how we live that is important and not whether an internal or external power motivates people or controls our life.

In various places Richmond uses variations of the two prayers below to be read out loud or thought about. We are encouraged to swap the pronouns I, me, you, us, we, them, and they to alter the prayer’s power and meaning because everything is connected.

May I be filled with loving kindness;
May I be free from suffering;
May I be happy and at peace.

and

As I grow older, may I be kind to myself;
As I grow older, may I accept joy and sorrow;
As I grow older; may I be happy and at peace.

Richmond closes his book with comments about the “extraordinary elders.” Extraordinary elders are people who have lead long, creative lives and who maintain curious throughout their lives to experience the newness of each and every day. Active mental interactivity with life is a key to having a meaningful and perhaps long life.

He hopes that the lessons he teaches in ASP will “continue to influence your elderhood, day by day and breath by breath.”

Aging as a Spiritual Practice

Lewis Richmond

Gotham Books

ISBN: 97815924069

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